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Non c’è un solo modo di essere madre, ognuna trova il suo ma è spesso la narrazione della maternità ad avvalersi di stereotipi che fanno male a tutte le donne: a quelle che i figli li hanno fatti e alle altre che magari non ne fanno proprio perché spaventate dal modello imperante dei doveri materni. Negli anni abbiamo assistito a un’evoluzione passata dall’idea che una mamma debba fare solo quello, all’altra che invece può, o deve, fare tutto. Ed è paradossalmente contro questa idea che si scaglia una madre famosa come Lily Allen: «Mi dà fastidio quando la gente dice che puoi avere tutto, perché non è possibile», ha rivelato la cantante e attrice durante un’intervista a Radio Times.
Figli o lavoro?
La pop star, madre di due bambine: Ethel Mary, 11 anni, e Marnie Rose, 9, avute dall'ex marito Sam Cooper, lo ha spiegato parlando fuori dai denti: «Hanno rovinato la mia carriera. Le amo e mi completano, ma come star del pop mi hanno rovinata». L’artista ha poi spiegato che lei ha deciso di focalizzarsi maggiormente sulle figlie per non ripetere gli errori dei suoi genitori, che l'hanno spesso lasciata da sola quando era piccola. Insomma, come spesso capita, si cerca di essere genitori prendendo a modello i propri, magari come modelli negativi.
L’infanzia da bimba trascurata
Figlia dell'attore Keith Allen e della produttrice Alison Owen, Lily si è sentita trascurata nella sua infanzia ed è comprensibile che abbia scelto una modalità diversa per prendersi cura della prole. «Alcune persone scelgono la carriera piuttosto che i figli e questa è una loro prerogativa, ma i miei genitori erano abbastanza assenti quando ero piccola. Questa cosa ha lasciato delle brutte cicatrici, che non sono disposta a ripetere sulle mie figlie», ha detto Lily Allen che oggi si dice convinta di aver fatto un buon lavoro con le bambine. «Penso che siano abbastanza equilibrate», ha aggiunto, ricordando proprio un particolare della sua infanzia: quando i genitori mangiavano al ristorante e lei restava fuori. «Erano soliti frequentare un ristorante che si chiamava 192, non c'era abbastanza spazio per i bambini, quindi venivamo lasciati fuori a girare per il mercato di Portobello, abbiamo rubato delle cose».
E il lavoro?
Ma l’attività dell’artista si è proprio dovuta fermare? L'ultimo album, Sheezus, è del 2014, ma nel 2022 ha debuttato come attrice di musical in 2:22 A Ghost Story. Un lavoro che inizialmente non voleva accettare. È stato il marito, David Harbour, a convincerla. Forse oggi che le figlie sono cresciute, mamma Lily Allen ritiene di potere riprendere il lavoro.
Ci sono mamme che invece non possono scegliere fra modelli di maternità perché ne hanno uno solo a disposizione, prendere o lasciare.