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Sta succedendo qualcosa sul tema della violenza contro le donne, non in termini di numeri perché i casi di femminicidio sono costanti da anni mentre le denunce di abusi e stalking sono addirittura in aumento. Ciò che sta crescendo è la consapevolezza delle vittime e a volte anche di chi sta loro intorno, anche per questo le analisi degli esperti dicono che forse non sono in crescita i casi di violenza di genere ma proprio le denunce degli stessi. A questo clima di maggiore trasparenza su come funzioni il substrato culturale patriarcale e i meccanismi che stanno alla base delle relazioni tossiche e prevaricatrici, ha sicuramente contribuito il caso del femminicidio di Giulia Cecchettin e delle tante donne, ma anche uomini, che si sono espresse contro il patriarcato a partire proprio dalla sorella di Giulia, Elena.
Il test vademecum di Luciana Littizzetto
Un’altra che non le manda a dire agli uomini violenti e chi li giustifica è Luciana Littizzetto che spesso lo fa usando l’arma dell’ironia senza peraltro che i suoi messaggi perdano di efficacia, anzi. Negli ultimi giorni si sta diffondendo sui social una sorta di test vademecum per capire “le cose che non sono normali in una relazione” e c’è sentore di quel tipo di prevaricazione che potrebbe portare ad abusi. Qualche giorno fa abbiamo pubblicato un contributo simile: le 15 motivazioni che hanno portato proprio Giulia Cecchettin a lasciare Filippo Turetta. Una lista che è diventata una sorta di guida per riconoscere gli uomini violenti. Il test di Luciana Littizzetto va nella stessa direzione elencando e le cose che nessuno dovrebbe sopportare nel contesto di una relazione. Una sorta di vademecum “per aiutare noi donne a muoverci nel limbo in cui capita di trovarci”, perché “dire basta non è facile come sembra”.
L’elenco antiviolenza di Lucianina
I preziosi suggerimenti iniziano con una breve lista di fatti che sono ironicamente normali nella vita di una coppia. “Se lui quando cucina sembra che sia preparando un ordigno nucleare: è normale”; “Se mentre mangia fa il risucchio: è normale”, e ancora: “Se dice una cosa inappropriata in un momento sbagliato: è normale e spesso è un ministro”. Poi si passa alla reale distinzione di ciò che è “normale” e sicuro per una donna (“Se ti chiede cosa fai perché gli interessa: è normale”) a quelle che devono farci allarmare. Ecco l’elenco:
- “Se vuol sapere sempre dove sei e ti geolocalizza con il cellulare: non è normale”.
- “Se aspetta che lavi il pavimento, forse è Scamarcio. Se gli dici ‘lavalo tu’ e si mette a ridere: è normale. Se si incazza e ti obbliga a farlo: non è normale”.
- “Se ti sfinisce e vuole sapere perché non gli rispondi subito su Whatsapp: non è normale”.
- “Se ingrassa lui: ahimè è normale. Se ti tormenta perché ingrassi tu: non è normale”.
- “Se prima ti insulta e poi dice che scherza: non è normale”.
- “Se ti dice ‘se mi ami davvero, mi devi obbedire’: non è normale”.
- “Se ti urla, ti spinge e poi dice che è solo nervoso: non è normale”.
- “Se controlla i tuoi soldi, il tuo conto in banca: non è normale”.
- “Se pretende il pin del tuo cellulare: non è normale”.
- “Se quando parli ti dice ‘stai zitta, non capisci niente’: non è normale”.
- “Se spia i tuoi like: non è normale”.
- “Se vuole che ti tolga da Instagram e invece lui ci rimane e mette like alle ballerine di pole dance: non è normale”.
- “Se ti mette paura e minaccia di pubblicare le vostre foto intime: non è normale”.
- “Se è gelosissimo e vuole controllare chi vedi e quando: non è un compagno e non è normale”.
- “Se dice che quello lo fa per il tuo bene e poi ti fa un occhio nero: non è normale”.
Infine, l’invito di Littizzetto è a chiedere aiuto in situazioni di difficoltà chiamando il 1522: un servizio anonimo e gratuito, in grado di supportare le richieste di tutte le donne.
05/12/2024