di
Cristiano Sanna Martini
Ogni storia ha la sua ombra e il suo rimosso. Michela Murgia non aveva remore a parlare della figura maschile da cui era stata costretta a fuggire ancora ragazzina e che ha definitivamente innescato il suo essere attivista anti patriarcato, anti maschilismo e per molti versi anti famiglia "tradizionale" definita via via "luttuosa" e "mesozoica". Michela Murgia è stata forgiata dalla reazione al modo di essere del padre, come lei stessa ha raccontato in una intervista a Vanity Fair: "Ringrazio mio padre per aver creato le condizioni di costrizione. Se ci fosse stato un limite di tollerabilità in quella situazione, io oggi sarei una persona diversa".
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Antonio, quell'ombra mai dimenticata
L'innominabile, colui il cui nome Michela Murgia non faceva mai, l'uomo le cui sfuriate e intemperanze portarono la madre Costanza Marongiu (scoperta dalla stampa solo in occasione del lutto della figlia) a portare via di casa figlio e figlia e affidarli alle cure degli zii, si chiamava Antonio Murgia. Una semplice informazione da anagrafe comunale. Non conosceremo mai la sua versione, dato che è morto qualche anno fa, ma i racconti di Michela, della madre, del fratello Cristiano (abile cuoco le cui fragilità di ragazzino la Murgia dovette affrontare con particolare vicinanza) convergono nel definire Antonio come un padre irascibile. Violento, a tal punto da far rinascere Michela Murgia come la persona che è diventata, una seconda vita cominciata a 18 anni e mezzo.
26 dicembre 1990
E' a la data, esplicitamente citata da Michela Murgia, della fine di una vita e l'inizio di un'altra. Ma sempre segnata da quella di prima. Una sfuriata particolarmente violenta del padre costringe alla fuga di madre e figli di casa, Costanza affida Michela e Cristiano agli zii. Come si sa, Michela Murgia comincia da lì a diventare quella che anno dopo anno, scritto dopo scritto, polemica dopo polemica, abbiamo conosciuto tutti. Una figlia d'anima (ma questo istituto sociale sardo viene citato troppo e tanto alla leggera, bisognerebbe forse studiare un po' di antropologia culturale in più per coglierlo in tutte le sue sfumature). Ma non perdona il padre, non perdona in realtà tutti i padri e con essi non perdona molti uomini. Emblematica la sua frase sempre da quel botta e risposta con Vanity Fair: "Zio e zia non hanno salvato la categoria paterna, perché ho continuato ad averne paura: nella nostra società patriarcale il modo di essere padre era quello del mio primo padre".
Dolore, rancore e reazione
Da quel momento Michela Murgia è diventata la polemista divisiva che ha ammaliato molti e fatto inferocire molti altri. E qui ci vorrebbe lo schwa, il carattere inclusivo che si vorrebbe sostituire definitivamente al plurale maschile. Perché è stata invisa a moltissime donne, giacché il cosiddetto patriarcato è introiettato anche in molte di queste, o per convenienza o per incapacità di imporsi e di certo per svantaggio sociale. Sacrosanta la lotta per pari diritti, pari dignità, a cominciare dai ruoli sociali, professionali, e dal trattamento economico. Ma che dire delle donne che colmano questo gap e ottenendo posizioni di potere lo esercitano con arroganza, favoritismi, prevaricazioni, mobbing? Sbagliato e poco intelligente rispondere che fanno così perché lo hanno imparato dai maschi patriarcali. Che è un modo per svilire l'intelligenza e la capacità di scelta femminile. E' uno dei temi su cui sarebbe stato interessante continuare a misurarsi con la Murgia.
Darle e riprenderle indietro fa male, sempre
Si scrive molto di quanto Michela Murgia soffrisse, anche fisicamente, gli attacchi dei suoi detrattori, molti dei quali non polemizzavano nell'ambito delle sue tesi ma si concentravano sull'aspetto fisico o sull'insulto gratuito. Cosa terribile. Ma sapeva che i suoi modi, gli argomenti, le provocazioni avrebbero portato allo scontro. Come poteva non saperlo chi paragonò i maschi a nate all'interno di un sistema mafioso, lo sapessero o no? O chi inventò la Matria in opposizione al concetto di Patria, quest'ultima da distruggere? Ancora chi si sovrappose all'arcipelago di sigle indipendentiste sarde inglobandole nel suo progetto per la candidatura alle Regionali sarde, con modi anche piuttosto decisi e abrasivi, e dopo la sconfitta non si dedicò mai più alla politica delle urne e dei partiti lasciando a bocca asciutta chi aveva creduto in lei? Per non parlare delle recensioni tranchant di colleghi scrittori quando ebbe il suo spazio televisivo in Rai. E scontro sia, che come si sa, lascia segni a tutte le parti in causa.
San Paolo e l'umanità ferita
Prima di ogni altra cosa, figlia ferita e guidata da un rancore e un senso di rivalsa verso il padre, i padri, i maschi che per lei finivano spesso per somigliare a quel genere di padri, Michela Murgia. Fino a rifugiarsi nella famiglia queer, quella in cui ci si sceglie e non ci si subisce per anagrafe o assegnazione burocratica. Ma un fill'e anima sarà sempre un figlio rifugiato altrove, con addosso la ferita della famiglia "naturale" disfunzionale. Si parla di umanità, di amore, rispetto, cura, scommesse su un progetto comune, resistere a difetti di modi e carattere, a cui si affacciano tutte le famiglie cosiddette alternative. Che sono come tutte le famiglie anche un luogo in cui si esercita il proprio potere. Il come farà sempre la differenza, il paradiso non esiste e Cabras ha già la sua madonna e si chiama Assunta. E chissà come sarebbero diverse le cose in famiglia se semplicemente si capisse quanto scrive San Paolo nel capitolo 5 della lettera agli Efesini, verso 22 che forse la Murgia conosceva, dato che alcuni studi religiosi li aveva frequentati: "Allo stesso modo i mariti devono amare le mogli come il proprio corpo. L’uomo che ama sua moglie ama sé stesso". Addio femminicidio, addio urla e percosse, addio sfregi con l'acido. Pensa tu, quel maschilista retrogrado di Paolo.