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All’apparenza potrebbe sembrare solo una storiaccia di cani feroci, gatte succubi e lupi vendicativi. All’apparenza potrebbe sembrare soltanto l’ennesima polemica quotidiana, che sullo sfondo ha uno dei crimini più odiosi e impuniti della storia dell’umanità, lo stupro e in particolare quello di Palermo di cui si parla da giorni in un crescendo di rivelazioni e finto-pentimenti, tra dettagli raccapriccianti e video degradanti che in migliaia fanno a gara per poter vedere in qualche chat di Telegram. E invece quella che ha per protagonista Ermal Meta e il suo sdegno e la sua voglia di reagire è davvero una ventata di aria fresca. Una novità nell’asfittico dibattito nazionale dove davanti a ogni crimine quotidiano si assiste allo sdegno generale cui fa subito da contraltare la colpevolizzazione della vittima e tante ricette così generali e esaustive da finire per essere impraticabili nell’immediato. Il cantautore, già vincitore di Sanremo, invece ha deciso di esporsi con parole dure, almeno quanto dura è la violenza di cui si parla. E di fronte a chi ha pensato bene di bacchettare lui, perché non abbastanza politically correct nella sua reazione, ha rincarato la dose e si è reso tramite di un sconvolgente passaparola, di uno spaccato di realtà e di testimonianze dirette che è un salutare bagno nella realtà e che ha l’indubbio merito di offrire una volta per tutte il punto di vista della vittima, di chi ci è passata, di chi sa sulla sua pelle cosa voglia dire sentirsi sporca e lavarsi fino a farsi uscire il sangue. E che a farlo sia un uomo non è un dettaglio trascurabile.
Parole pesanti. E al solito si guarda il dito e non la luna
Tutto è iniziato con un tweet molto forte: “Lì in galera, se mai ci andrete, ad ognuno di voi cani auguro di finire sotto 100 lupi in modo che capiate cos'è uno stupro", ha scritto Ermal Meta riferendosi a una frase pronunciata da uno dei sette violentatori. Immediate le critiche, da parte di chi considera il tweet “orribile” perché “la responsabilità è collettiva”. La reazione dell’artista non si fa attendere e ha il vantaggio della chiarezza: “Di orribile c’è quello che hanno fatto, di orribile c’è il trauma che quella ragazza probabilmente si porterà dietro per molto tempo, di orribile c’è la madre di uno di loro che cerca di far passare per una poco di buono la vittima, di orribile c’è la mancanza totale di empatia, di orribile c’è filmarla, deriderla, lasciarla per strada come uno straccio e poi minacciarla, di orribile c’è la totale mancanza di umanità. Non è la collettività ad averli portati a compiere uno scempio del genere, ma una loro precisa e lucida scelta. Se l’educazione (compito della famiglia) non funziona prima, deve funzionare la punizione dopo, proprio per difendere la collettività che tanto ti sta a cuore”.
Perché sentiamo la responsabilità nei confronti dei carnefici e non della vittima?
Altre critiche contro Ermal Meta che però non si ferma e continua la sua battaglia: “Conosco persone, donne, che da uno stupro non si sono riprese mai più. Che scattano in piedi appena sentono un rumore alle loro spalle, che non sono più riuscite nemmeno ad andare al mare e mettersi in costume da bagno come se non avessero nemmeno la pelle. Vogliamo salvare e recuperare un branco? Ok, sono d’accordo. Ma come salviamo una ragazza di 19 anni che d’ora in poi avrà paura di tutto? Perché la responsabilità sociale la sentiamo nei confronti dei carnefici e non in quelli della vittima? Se c’è una qualche forma di responsabilità collettiva nei confronti dei carnefici, allora dovremmo provare a sentirci responsabili anche per quella ragazza e per tutte le vittime di stupro perché è a loro che dobbiamo veramente qualcosa, sono le vittime che vanno aiutate a ricostruire la propria vita. Per quanto riguarda le pene esemplari credo che siano assolutamente necessarie per un semplice motivo: nessun atto criminale viene fermato dalla paura della rieducazione, ma da quella della punizione. L’educazione deve funzionare prima che si arrivi a compiere un abominio del genere. Ovviamente siamo tutti garantisti finché la “bomba” non ci cade in casa”.
Provate a mettervi nei loro panni
Da qui è stata una bomba ma di testimonianze, di rivelazioni, di sfoghi capaci finalmente di raccontare la verità di uno stupro e di accendere una luce su chi lo subisce e non sui carnefici. "So di aver postato cose che fanno male, ma è un male necessario, reale. Sono persone quelle che mi hanno scritto, persone reali, di un paese reale, con fardelli reali, da portare con sé in ogni momento della loro vita. Provate a leggerli. Quando avrete finito di indignarvi per le mie parole, provate a mettervi nei loro panni. Chissà se arderete della stessa passione. Questo è il paese reale".
LE STORIE
“Sono stata stuprata a 15 anni da un “amico”. Ero in tuta da ginnastica. Non ne parlo mai": è l'inizio di una delle testimonianze di vittime di violenza sessuale. Tante, tantissime le storie, tutte anonime. "Caro Ermal, sono stata stuprata il 26 dicembre del 2000...dopo 23 anni non riesco ancora a confessarlo a mio marito, provo vergogna". Una donna, stuprata dallo zio a 5 anni, confessa che "vorrei dire a quelle persone che parlano, parlano, parlano che vivere con un trauma così non è facile, lavarti fino a farti uscire il sangue dalla pelle perché ti senti sporca è un orrore". E poi la straziante testimonianza di una donna, che racconta della sua amica che, nonostante un marito e una figlia amatissimi, non ce l'ha fatta più a sostenere l'enorme dolore che lascia uno stupro e una mattina, dopo aver portato la bimba a scuola, è tornata a casa e si è impiccata.
Avevo jeans e cappotto. Non ero nuda, non ero ubriaca
E ancora: “Avevo 16 anni. È successo all’uscita da scuola. Avevo jeans, maglione cappotto e zaino. Non ero nuda, non erio ubriaca o drogata. Tra qualche giorno compio 42 anni e ho sempre provato vergogna nel raccontarlo a qualcuno, vergogna di chiedere aiuto psicologico. Non sono più riuscita a rifarmi una vita, non riesco a uscire nemmeno in pieno giorno per un caffè con un’amica. Sotto la doccia continuo a strofinarmi fino a togliermi la pelle ma il ricordo è vivo nitido come se fosse successo in questo momento. Ho spesso pensato di suicidarmi per riuscire a trovare un po’ di pace. Ogni giorno muore un pezzo di me”.
Mio fratello ha abusato di me quando ero piccola
Oppure: “In ogni storia rivedo la mia. Quella delle mura domestiche più pericolose che ho conosciuto. Mio fratello, sangue del mio sangue, ha abusato di me quando ero piccola, per diverso tempo. Non ho mai avuto il coraggio di raccontarlo a mia madre per non darle sofferenze. Oggi ho quasi 30 anni, ricordo tutto nei dettagli ma non ne parlo, non ne ho mai parlato. Le cicatrici sono ancora lì che fanno male, che sanguinano”. Eccone un’altra: “Oltre agli abusi io ero diventata il suo posacenere personale. O meglio le mie braccia lo erano. Ho ancora i segni indelebili”. E via ancora in una discesa agli inferi che sembra non conoscere il fondo. C’è chi racconta lo stupro subito mentre era incinta, chi svela di soffrire di attacchi di panico e di disturbi alimentari, chi è terrorizzata dal mettere al mondo dei figli perché ha paura che possa nascere una bimba e soffrire ciò che ha sofferto lei. Il campionario degli orrori è vastissimo.
Se volete crocifiggermi, fate pure. Sulla croce ci salgo da solo
Tra i commenti, anche quello dell'attrice Elena Sofia Ricci: "La tua anima bella non può essere fraintesa. A 12 anni tentai di proteggermi con un disegno che avevo fatto...un foglio di carta colorato, dall'abuso di un signore molto grande e molto stimato che conosceva bene la mia famiglia. Ho potuto parlarne solo pochi anni fa. Segni che restano per sempre". E le parole di Ermal Meta per una volta non meritano repliche: "Quando stupri una donna uccidi il suo futuro, la sua fiducia nel prossimo e nella vita e senza quella fiducia comprometti la sua capacità un domani persino di avere dei figli. Questo compromette l'umanità intera. Lo stupro è un crimine contro l'umanità. Quale è la pena proporzionale per una cosa del genere? Mi sembra che servano leggi stringenti per far sentire le donne che subiscono abusi e molestie in grado di denunciare senza alcuna remora, senza sfiducia e senza paura. Se per questo volete crocifiggermi, non stancatevi a tirarmi su che sulla croce ci salgo da solo". Poi, certo, non bisogna dimenticarsi della rieducazione dei carnefici, di offrire loro la possibilità di redimersi, di migliorare l’educazione, la scuola. La cultura. Ma per una volta mettiamoci nei panni della vittima, panni che difficilmente riusciremmo a toglierci di dosso per il resto della vita.